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Anatomy of a Vegan

If you've ever known a person in the mafia, a gangbanger, or a convicted serial killer, you've effectively met a vegan. Their cold, heartless demeanor, masked behind an "animal loving" facade is right at home with Jeffrey Dahmer and his ilk.

What's most alarming about vegans is their unbridled narcissism. Vegans believe their actions and diet are in some way benefiting animals and the world. It's a God Complex, nay a Messiah Complex, but it saves nothing and benefits no one.

In looking into the psychology of vegans, we find these constants.
This is your brain on vegansim 

  1. Their mother never loved them. 
    • Not much to add to this one. While mother complexes cause a myriad of psychological issues, from psychopathy to irritable bowel syndrome, veganism seems to always come as a side effect.
  2. They browbeat and shame those that disagree with them.
    • Trying to argue the merits of their lifestyle with a vegan is like getting a dog to stop licking its butthole. Even though it's wrong, it feels so good to them. 
  3. They're unabashed hypocrites.
    • Ever notice how the social welfare advocate screams about helping the poor one moment while shooing away homeless people in disgust in the next? Or how the hideous homophobe seems to always turn out to be gay? Vegans feign a self-righteous indignation, but generally have a disdain for minorities and people generally. They use their alleged love of animals as a shield against all criticism. Thing is, they hate animals too. Yes, vegans have disdain for animals. FACT.
  4. They love Nazi memorabilia. 
    • They just do.
  5. A startling 70 percent of vegans deny the Armenian Genocide.
    • This one doesn't even make sense, but the numbers don't lie.
  6. Vegans rarely, if ever, use their turn signal.
    • Let me guess... Animal products were used in the construction of blinkers.
As you can see from this short list, vegans account for a veritable smorgasbord of psychological pathology and dangerous ideas.

My suggestion would be to steer clear of any you might come across, lest you get tangled up in their web of lies, deceit, and antisemitism.